Reply to Help me figure out how to see my grandkids more often!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry to say this but you're expectations are too high. You already see them more than more people.  Although you are invited, during the weekday it is an intrusion. There so many things to do, working, commuting, making dinner, cleaning, bedtime routine, and on top of it, you coming over is not added value, (making fancier meal, entertaining you). You inviting them over versus they (working parents with no time) inviting you over is completely different.  For working parents the way to see them more is to assist in picking up the child, offering to babysit or take them to doctor's appointments, driving them to school, or see them over the summer. My mother lives 1 mile away, she leaves us alone and does errands for us or watches him when he's sick or when we need a babysitter. Our time is so limited with our children, every moment counts and I don't want to spend it with parents, because it becomes all about their time instead of my time. Let your children be parents.[/quote]
This is OP. I'm not "allowed" to be responsible for these things because I tend to be late to things that are unimportant. I know my DIL Thinks I'm unreliable to do anything important because sometimes I show up late to a party or get together. I live far away from most of the family.

It's just like I can't win. I wouldn't be late for school pickup, but they won't let me.[/quote]

You sound like my MIL. She says some of the exact same things you're saying. I stopped trying to include her because no matter what I did, she got hurt feelings and blamed me. Her own son won't visit her because he's tired of the drama. I don't mind if she visits, but she does stress me out. We do have routines and they can't change because of guests. Her being late really messes up the routine. If she'd offer to help, and be on time for once, I'd accept. As it is, I can't trust that she won't try to manipulate or control the situation, especially by offering to bring dinner and then showing up late. Showing up late is disrespect and while I have no choice but to tolerate it sometimes, I will not trust someone to be responsible if they can't show me basic courtesy. That means no pick ups from school, no trying on them to get kids to timed events, no relying on them to provide my hungry family dinner.

Lol. Maybe you're my MIL. If you are, you made your bed. Make some changes, earn back some trust, and maybe I'll be less stressed out when you decide to grace me with your presence. [/quote]

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