Reply to Custody schedule 2-2-5 versus one week on/one week off (with midweek overnight)

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Reply to "Custody schedule 2-2-5 versus one week on/one week off (with midweek overnight)"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you're asking what is best for the CHILDREN, neither.  Most experts agree that children need one home.  Going back and forth is very hard on kids.  So, every weekend or every other weekend is best for the child.  Unfortunately, parents going through divorce rarely make decisions that are best for the children.[/quote]

And taking away one parent isn't bad?[/quote]

It wasn't bad for my kids.  They had every Wednesday from after school through dinner, then either Friday through Saturday after dinner or Saturday afternoon through Sunday before dinner.

This way they had one home.  They knew where all their stuff was, all the time.  He attends all parties, games, school events, etc. We only live an hour apart.  [/quote]

So, they get one home and one parent.  You are basically restricting the parent to be a parent and they are more like an uncle vs. parent.  Kids need equal time with both parents and be comfortable in both homes.[/quote]

I don't know what world has uncles seeing their nieces twice a week and having them over for sleepovers every weekend.  I don't know of any uncles who help their nieces study their spelling words weekly and take their nieces to the dentist.

They Facetime and text daily.  They never go more than three days without seeing each other.  They ARE comfortable in both homes.  When my ex is nearby us he will call to ask if he can come by. If it's around dinner, he gets invited to stay and eat with us. [/quote]

+1.  1 parent with full custody doesn't necessarily mean the other parent is an uncle.  Kids don't necessarily need equal time to have 2 parents.  We do this for reasons that are specific to parent health issues and professional obligations, but it doesn't make that parent less of a parent.  My kids live with me 24/7, but ex dines with us several times a week and he is welcome (with some limits) in my home.  Kids also go to his house but never spend the night there.  This is what works for us.  Kids are very well-adjusted.

That said, we had friends who chose differently -- started with rotating kid to each parent's home by week. 7 days was too long.  Child wanted to see parents more often.  So, parents switched to 2-2-3 where each parent has a stable set of weeknights and they alternate weekends, which effectively works out to 2-5.  So, Mom is M,T, Dad is W, TH and alternate weekends means that Mom has a block of 5 that is F to Tues., and Dad has a weekend block that is Wed. to Sun.  I think they have bioparent and biokids family dinner on Sunday to do scheduling for the week.

Do what works for your child and your family.  There are no rules.  Whatever 2 parents can agree upon, the courts will sign off on as long as both parents have representation and there is no intimation of undue pressure. [/quote]

That is not being a parent by dining with kids a few times a week.  It is what woks for you.  [/quote]

It is being a parent.  Other parent is getting equal time in all waking hours minus time spent sleeping, showering and eating breakfast before school.  Yes, it is what works for us and that doesn't make anyone less of a parent.[/quote]

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