Reply to I'm not #1 in wife's eyes

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Husband is first, because we are a team. It's better for the kids that way. [/quote]

I don't have this with my DH, however I agree it's the way it should be in theory.  I mean, obviously not in the sense of who I would save first if my house were burning down (my kids).  I think that people who reject this idea don't quite understand how it plays out.  Ideally, it's not just one parent putting the other parent first, it's both parents putting each other first.  For instance, if my DH and DD both need my attention at the same time, and I had to choose, it doesn't mean I would choose my DH, it means my DH would know to stand down if my DD's needs were paramount.  [/quote]

+1.  It is all about understanding what it means to be #1 as an adult vs. a child.  If you are competing for time, attention, and access to her body, you will lose and she will resent you for it.  If you are her #1 partner and teammate and treat her as yours in return, that will work out a lot better.  If you want her to consider your well-being a priority, motivate for hers.[/quote]

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