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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]While the right decision is likely to not have an abuser in the life of the child, the removal of that person and the destruction of the relationship and family can for some kids be very traumatic. Knowing because they said something, they lost someone they may have loved deeply...can be had to process.

The child's experience is very different than the adults around them. Depending on what happened, the child may not have felt traumatized by the abuse. It obviously bothered them but it may not at this point have an effect the child (although it may have a later effect)

Some children can experience sexual abuse and it doesn't impact them...until they are 20...or 30..or 40 or even later. [/quote]

I had no idea DCUM had so many child sexual abuse apologists on it. Disturbing and disgusting. [/quote]

Actually I completely agree with the PP above you. Abuse is complicated and doesn't mean the abuser doesn't love his child and doesn't want them to be well and do well. The child responds to this affection and it may be decades before he or she fully understands and processes the scope of the abuse.

When it's a stranger attacking you, the situation is awful but a lot simpler to categorize.
[/quote]

The related molester doesn't love his/her child. That's evident from the abuse that is destroying the child's ability to be well and do well. The child is responding to the pretense of affection because all children need affection and caring, and they'll take the pretense if the real thing isn't available.

Sexual abuse is not complicated. It's really quite simple. Its effects are complicated.[/quote]

This times a million. It doesn't matter how "loving" and "attentive" my father was, how many events he took me to or the books he read to me - ultimately, he didn't give a whit about my well-being. If he had, he wouldn't have sexualized me and groomed me and abused me sexually. There are no dimensions to sexual abuse. It's wrong, it's unacceptable, and it shouldn't be tolerated, full stop. [/quote]

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