Reply to are your retired in-laws living with you permanently? if so, hows it going?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband's Dad lives with us full-time.  I was a little worried at first because he intimidated the heck out of me for 20+ years but after my husband's mom (his wife) died and Dad began to have some health issues we decided it was the best thing.  Now I don't know what I would do without him and he is my partner in crime.

Dad has integrated so well into our family that I cannot imagine life without him here at home with us.  Basically where I go, he goes.  In fact, usually he is sitting in the kitchen watching tv with me (or even reading postings to me from DCUM! and he is outside now with the boys watching them play basketball which is the only reason I can reply to this particular thread) while I cook.  The kids adore having him around.

We did not do an in-law suite because it all happened so quickly but he has a Master suite to himself so he does have a little extra space and there is a little sitting room there that he uses as a study.  Because he has early stages Alzheimer's we need him close by so that we and his daytime companion can get to him easily.

There have been some hurdles to overcome but I think we've hit the major ones in terms of all of us learning to live together.  I am so happy that we made the choices we did and we would do it all over again in a heartbeat.  We may end up doing an addition so that he has a suite of rooms on the first floor.  For now he is negotiating the stairs just fine but we are trying to plan ahead for his physical needs as well as what will happen with this stupid, horrible disease.[/quote]

You're a wonderful person and you'll be so glad you did this, although it will become very hard later. Two pieces of advice: (1) make whatever changes you're going to make in his living situation as soon as possible. As the disease progresses, it becomes harder for those with memory loss to adapt to new surroundings. (2) Don't feel bad about getting help to give yourself a break, especially later on. There are "day care" situations for those with dementia, and it can be very good for them to be around people their own age and it gives you some time to breathe. [/quote]

Thank you for your kind words and your good advice about the living situation and taking breaks.  I think/know we've been procrastinating about the addition because it seems too foreshadowing to do it now but your advice makes sense and we better get started.  [/quote]

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