Reply to He loves me, has great benefits, good income, sex is terrible

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm 46 and single. I have 2 kids. I own my own home, and make a decent amount of money to support my kids and myself.
I've been dating a very nice guy. He is 45 as well, never married, never had kids. Very career focused. He has great benefits, makes a good amount of money (about equal to me). He has saved and invested a ton of money, while I have spent most of mine raising my kids on my own. I am not broke. I am ok. My benefits at work are not great at all.

He has a good future ahead of him, retirement etc.   He wants to get married. He loves me, loves my kids ( 17,15). I love him.  My only hesitation is that in bed, he is practically dead. It's me doing it all.
He doesn't decline sex, he just doesn't do, well, much of anything. His personality is not a very touchy feely type. We hold hands, when I take his hand. he kisses me every day. Passionately, no, but he kisses me. He hugs me. He tells me he loves me.

At my age, do I commit to a crappy sex life, but a secure future for me and my kids, or do I wait for the whole package?
Can I live with this type of sex life, I think so.  
Not having to worry about benefits or retirement and just feeling overall secure financially for me and my kids for the rest of my life is very appealing.

I'm not looking for his money, I have college savings accounts started for both of my kids. I have my own 401K and it's decent.

Do I want to be alone for the rest of my life, NO. I've been alone long enough and love the comfort of a partner.

What do I do?
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DH here: tough call, of course, but let me add one thing you may not be thinking of.  If he does not know you feel this way about the sex, don't commit to him until he does. It's entirely unfair to him; many men assume (incorrectly) that a woman would not be interested in a long-term relationship if they hated the sex, because hating the sex is almost always a straight-up dealbreaker for most men. He will assume that the sex is at least ok from your perspective unless you let him know otherwise, and in a few years when you lose interest in the bad sex its going to cause major problems.  I think you need a heart-to-heart before moving forward.  
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