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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a professor in a PhD program, and students close my door for meetings all the time. (I never close it because I'm sensitive to power imbalances, secrecy, etc., and I don't want students to feel uncomfortable. But I allow students to close it if they prefer.) [b] I'd say about more than half of my advising meetings have a closed door. Usually, it's because students want to talk about personal stuff--either interactions with other faculty, their own teaching and students, their self-doubts, or their career ambitions and job search. Sometimes they want to question my pointed feedback on a paper or dissertation chapter, and they know they might cry. [/b] At any rate, you asked for reasons why the door may be closed, so those were just a few that came to mind immediately. Honestly, I have one advisee who always closes the door, and our conversations rarely veer into "personal" territory, but she just seems to prefer the closed door. (Maybe it's because my office is on a highly trafficked hallway, and she doesn't want to be distracted by people in the hall or have everyone in the department listening in on our conversation.) The only part of your description that gives me pause is that these closed-door meetings go on for hours. The longest that my advising meetings usually last is 90 minutes because who's got time for more than that? So, if you're really right that they're in there for hours, that seems strange, but that also seems really long for a sexual encounter, so maybe your internal clock needs to be recalibrated.[/quote] OP here: I understand all of this could come occasionally but she's not even working on research yet. She's a 2 second year student. I have caught them at least 3-4 times per week together for 3-4 hours. He forgets meetings other students have told me the same thing. [/quote] You haven't caught them doing anything except meeting. If he is forgetting YOUR meeting, go to the door and knock loudly when it's time for YOUR meeting. Stop worrying about others or how long he spends meeting with them. It's your job to be professional and do your work, not track your advisor's schedule. Even if she is his favorite, don't you think that happens in the real world too? Don't you prefer some professors to others? I had a wonderful relationship with my married PhD advisor. Nothing sexual, but a fantastic friend. The professor that posted above makes very worthwhile points[/quote]
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