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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't agree with the PPs who are criticizing you for the playdates ending.  If the kid is upset and ready to go, fine.  I think it depends on the situation, but it's perfectly okay for kids to have limits and to want to take a break if things get to be too much.  Stop for a moment and think about what the rhetoric would be if these were girls who not comfortable with a certain level of physicality or aggression.  People would not be saying to "suck it up" and "boys will be boys" because we (hopefully, some of us) have now learned that this is exactly what perpetuates rape culture.  I don't see why it's any different with boys.  Boys have a right to have limits and to want the aggressive behavior to be curbed at some point.

I would support them as best you can and help them to see that they can say no and walk away when they want to, but that it doesn't have to be a big deal.  They don't have to end a playdate because of it, unless the other person isn't willing to accept their "no."  Help them learn how to say they need a break and go get some water or do something else for a few minutes to calm down and get away from it, and if they feel like going back to roughhousing, they can.[/quote]

But if they are consistently crying to the point of having to go home after every time  or nearly every time they get together with other boys, especially as old as these boys are, then one of two things are happening:

A) OPs boys are both being bullied every time they play with other boys (Not at all what she said)

B) OPs boys are over reacting and possibly being coddled by mom (See OPs title of her post)

I am around boys that age and older All. The. Time.

And I have one sensitive, thoughtful boy and one sporty social boy. There is no way that the neighborhood boys are cosistently playing so unusually rough that OPs kids are always leaving crying to the point of having to stop the get togethers and the hanging out. Assuming we are talking about normal, active boys, there is no way they are playing that rough allthe time. If they were, more boys than OPs would also be coming home crying on a regular basis.

So OP really needs to look at these two things because they require different solutions.  Is it bullying? That needs to be dealt with swiftly.

If it is not bullying, then her boys' over reactions needs to be fixed before it turns into bullying or isolation from the other boys.  If her boys keep crying and running home over everything, eventually they are going to make themselves targets or the other kids are not going to want to play with them.  Which might be fine, or it might not be.

But the over sensitive crying needs to stop.[/quote]

OP here. It's definitely not every time, not even the majority of the times, but there have been times they've been too upset to recover and get back into playing. But to me, it's enough of a problem that I need to address it[/quote]

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