Reply to Spouse not who you thought he was

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP...I feel stupid since I feel i misread situations early in our dating and came to flattering conclusions.

Such as:

- Texts mom in the middle of a party: I thought aw how sweet! He is family oriented - turns out his mother is controlling and codependent
- Wears nice clothes and shoes: I thought wow he must come from a good family - his mom picked out his clothes to portray a certain image
- Graduated from an IVY and we met at a competitive internship: I thought he was hardworking and ambitious - turns out he is academically gifted but has little career skills or ambition

So now I sometimes wonder how did I get here with someone who I share little with :( [/quote]

Ok, so it turns out that your prince charming has given you a wacky MIL to deal with (common), can't dress himself well (common), and has a well regarded degree, but isn't a hard charger?

Is he nice to you? Are you attracted to him?  Because the

three things you've mentioned don't sound too terrible.  [/quote]

He is VERY nice. Treats me incredibly well. He does work hard at his career but in a low pay/low prestige job and I am stressed about how we will make it work in this city.[/quote]

So you're a climber, and he's not. You're all about prestige, and he's not. You want him to look nice, have an impressive job, dress to impress important people, and he doesn't prioritize those things. Yeah, you are incompatible and if you feel he should make changes to be more like you then your relationship is doomed. Poor guy.[/quote]

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