Reply to Spin off. If you were emotionally/psychologically abused by your parents what it your relationship?

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Reply to "Spin off. If you were emotionally/psychologically abused by your parents what it your relationship?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dad is a narcissist and my mom borderline. Dad raged and threatened violence often but never delivered. Mom was overly enmeshed in my life, threatened suicide if I didn't allow her full access to pretty much every aspect of my life. Told me horrifying stories of her own childhood trauma (sexual abuse from her mother, locked in the basement for days) beginning when I was 10.

My mom died 14 years ago. My dad married another borderline person, one who actually did threaten my family on several occasions. We live on opposite coasts and I haven't seen him for 9 years. Some years he sends the kids extravagant Christmas  gifts (and sometimes sends only 2 out of my 3 kids gifts, that's always fun to explain). Other than that, no contact.

Tried therapy a few times and then a friend told me about EMDR therapy. I went for a year and it literally changed my life. All the shame and distress I carried my whole life is gone. Before EMDR, I couldn't tell anyone about, for example, my mom threatening suicide because I truly believed that was my fault ... that an 8yo could cause someone to kill themselves.

Agree that if you aren't from an abusive childhood you really can't comment on this thread. [/quote]

Thanks for sharing PP. I'm excited to hear this. My DH starts EMDR therapy next week. The shame he carries from his childhood is crippling...[/quote]

I hope he has as good an experience as I did. It felt like someone reorganizing my brain's filing cabinet, if that makes sense... it was profound and I am so thankful that my friend mentioned it to me. Crippling shame is a good way to describe it. I would feel physical pain if I tried to tell anyone about it, and deep shame. It is still amazing to me that I can talk about what happened without re-experiencing it.

It took a while to build up to the point of doing the actual EMDR part (a few months, so my therapist knew what she was doing as we were addressing the most painful moments of my life) but the change after the first EMDR session is something I will never forget. Be easy on him as he's going through it, it's powerful and intense. I took a lot of quiet baths when I needed to chill out afterwards. I wish you both the best. [/quote]

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