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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

So I'm the 14:39 PP and this is how my mother is with my oldest and middle sisters.  She is constantly running to watch their kids, shuttle the kids from this event to that one, has upended her life on multiple occasions to be there for them, the whole nine yards while I have to BEG her to spend any time with my child and basically make sure it takes 0 effort on her part to spend time with my kid (show up on her doorstep, stay to do any and all heavy lifting so she only has to coo at the baby, then disappear the second she's done with us).  It's because she thinks we've got it together and don't need her as much while she thinks my sisters don't have their sh*t together and are dropping the ball on parenting/life.  Same with MIL/SIL, sadly.  So it really sucks for us that we basically have to struggle to get any family time for our kid with the grandmas but it's because both of our mothers think our siblings aren't capable of parenting without them.

On my good days, I can sometimes bring myself to view it as a very weird compliment but mostly, it just sucks.  [/quote]

So much solidarity! This sums up my SIL/MIL exactly.  My SIL is utterly helpless and my MIL is basically the full-time parent to my niece.  My SIL is home all day, and my husband and I work full time at demanding jobs.  We have gotten a lot of judgment about having our son in daycare, but zero offers to help us (not that I would want the free full-time childcare my SIL gets...I wouldn't survive my MIL being the full-time carer for my son).  My MIL sees my son once every 6 weeks or so (despite us living about 25 minutes apart), and then complains that he cries when he sees her -- he's 11 months old! He doesn't know you!  I know this dynamic really hurts  my husband's feelings, but he's always known that his mother is a helicopter parent and his sister is extremely lazy so none of it surprises him.  It definitely makes me sad because even though I don't love to spend my time with MIL, she's really missing out on getting to know her grandchild.  My son and my niece are only six weeks apart in age (and they only two grandchildren), so it has been rough to have the two constantly compared. [/quote]

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