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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry OP -- you are a narcissist.  I'm so very sorry that your life isn't a bliss-filled fairy tale.  Time to grow up, embrace compromises and imperfections, and focus on the good in your life.[/quote]

I wouldn't call OP a narcissist - but there is some truth to the fact that she's spending a lot of time absorbed in thoughts and worries and repetitive circles about her own happiness. Like - am I happy in this moment?...can it last?...oh, I feel pretty good now but oh, there it goes out the window...I was content yesterday but then woke up this morning feeling down...hey, this week isn't so bad...and on and on and on. Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit but there is some self-absorption here that is only turning OP in circles. You can't constantly be taking the temperature of your happiness (in relation to your DH) to determine if you should stay in your marriage, it will drive you crazy and keep you waffling.

I would just back off of all of this and take a breather - a vacation from the process of agonizing over whether you should stay in your marriage or divorce.
Focus on yourself - as PP said, you can't depend on your DH for your happiness. Just try to be in the moment, keep working on yourself in therapy, work on your mental and physical health.

Does your DH know that you no longer have romantic or sexual feelings for him? Is he willing to stay in the marriage under these circumstances? Also - were you ever in love with your DH? And can you remember what attracted you to him in the first place?

I don't think you are selfish - it's so painful to be in a lonely marriage. But I would take a breather and just re-ground yourself and be more in the moment, for a time. Because waffling like this is getting you nowhere.

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