Reply to Considering Divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here.  I'm about 8 months into the divorce process, and I can tell you in no uncertain terms that divorce isn't always. A key to happiness.  You will have new sets of problems.  Less money.  You may need to move.  You get your kids less often.  Your kids will deal with emotional trauma, and possibly anger and rage as a result.  Their schoolwork may suffer.  Once they are older, they may choose to live with their father, and often time judges will let older kids have their say.

Dating with kids is tough.  Even if you find someone, blended families are a million times more challenging.  assuming your DH remarries, your kids will spend holidays with step relatives who don't care about them, and your kids are old enough to know it.

Your future step children may hate you.  Your future beau may have an ex from hell.

I just point this out because it isn't like you are picking between your "meh" life and happiness.

It sounds to me like you are expecting your husband to make you happy.  Happiness is a choice.  Wherever you go, there you are.  You need to be a happy person.

Marriage with kids is hard.  Hard, hard, hard.  It sucks the lives from many marriages.  Some people buckle down and push through.  Some have affairs.  Some leave.

At the end of the day, you need to be responsible for your own emotions and stop expecting someone else to make you happy. [/quote]

Thanks for this reality check. I'm in a similar situation to OP and have been thinking about the possibility of divorce. But you're right that I'd be trading one set of problems for another, and there's no guarantee that the grass is greener on the other side. [/quote]

Well, I'm not sure if OP should divorce based on the information she provided here. But I am a divorced person and I want to say that no step children hate me. My beau has no ex from hell. I have no money problems. My children are thriving. My life is not perfect. No one's life is perfect. But I live a wonderful life now, putting myself and my children first now.

People deserve to know that the bulk of divorced moms go on to happy and successful lives around here.

As for OP, only she can make this excruciating decision. No one here can make it for her, and she needs to spend a lot of time with a therapist to work it all out. The rest of us are just speculating.

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