Reply to Advice-my husband is constantly late for things

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a DW with ADD. I struggle with time too. I was always late. And please don't say it's because I'm selfish or don't care about the other person. I did want to be on time. The coffee PP totally nails what it's like to have a brain with stuff swirling around in it and you're just trying to get out the door.

OP, do some research on how ADDers "feel" time differently. We just perceive and process it differently. Until you understand how your DH "feels" time, it will be hard to come up with strategies that work.

For me I, DH helps me back-track to figure out what time I have to start getting ready, not what time I have to leave, not what time we have to be there.

So, if we have to be there at 3pm- it takes 45 mins, tack on 15 mins for traffic or finding parking. So we have to leave at 2 pm. It takes me 45 mins to shower/makeup/hair, 15 mins to get dressed and add 15 mins for time that just seems to go missing for some reason. So I have to start getting ready at 12:45. That's what goes into my brain--12:45. Nothing else matters.

And if it's important (like flights), he'll start giving me a count down- hey honey, in an hour (30, 15, 5 mins) you need to start getting ready. It's not passive aggressive. It's because I don't "feel" time moving. 5 mins, 5 hours feels the same. So I can know in my head that in 1 hour I have to do something, but won't realize that one hour has passed.

If your DH is like me, the reason he can get to some stuff and not others is enormous use of resources. Getting to stuff on time takes more brain power for ADDers. And we can muster up the brain power at times. But very difficult to do it all the time. Imagine going through life with an extra 50lbs strapped to your head. You could function for awhile if necessary. But the second you can, you take off the weight. [/quote]

The fact that he's making no attempt to change the behavior means he IS selfish and irresponsible. I stand by my statement [/quote]

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