Reply to Need to forget about someone- how? Need help.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find if I actually let myself feel the feelings, don't fight them, feel them, they go away sooner. The toughts you have to work on stopping but let yourself feel the sadness, loneliness and the feelings will lessen over time.[/quote]

Not sure if this works for me, at the moment. My problem is that when I feel those feelings- missing him, wondering what he is doing, etc etc, I end up acting on them, and contacting him. Then I get pulled back down into the rabbit hole---if he does not respond, I analyze it and get sad. If he responds, but in a fairly short way, I analyze it and get sad. If he responds and we reengage in long back and forth conversation, I feel happy. It's like a drug addiction that I know is not good for me, I try and go cold turkey but have slip ups.[/quote]

You'll never be able to move on if you don't go told turkey. A psychologist once explained it to me in terms of an intermittent reward schedule. You never know what you're going to get from him so it becomes more exciting to you brain, like gambling. As long as the throws you a crumb every once in a while, you're hooked. Stop asking for crumbs!

https://www.alleydog.com/glossary/definition.php?term=Intermittent%20Reinforcement[/quote]

I'm in the same boat and my therapist explained it the same way re: crumbs!!! [/quote]

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