Reply to DH and I don't drink: how to unwind/get romantic

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everyone says find a sex therapist and yet no one can recommend and affordable one that's taking new patients.[/quote]

Ask your gyn for a referral?[/quote]

New poster: Yes, please consider sex therapy as well as the techniques some  PPs are suggesting.

But also: Both you and DH should get physical checkups and be honest with your doctors about the lack of drive/lack of orgasm. Rule out physical issues that might be affecting you. DH should get tested to check his testosterone levels etc. You should have a frank talk with your gyn about your lack of orgasms. And OP, are you on the pill or any other form of hormone based birth control? The pill can really kill libido for some women and in your case could be affecting your body's reactions to sex. Ask the gyn about changing your BC if you use any.

Is either of you on other meds for anything? Many types of meds can affect libido, so if your DH is on ANY med he and you should check with the doctor about it. Sometimes doctors just do not think about the sexual side effects of meds and don't mention them so patients don't connect their sexual issues to a med they're taking.

I'd start as soon as possible with physicals, hormone tests, your gyn and then an effort on both your parts to initiate sex even when DH isn't feeling it. Getting away from your own home and from your routines and obligations can help.

And then a sex therapist if the effort doesn't work. It may take time to build a sex life and it will require patience and understanding as well as a willingness to talk very honestly with each other. Are you and DH communicating clearly and compassionately with each other about what each of you wants? Are you both invested in working on this or is the effort one-sided--? These questions are truly where a therapist is essential. [/quote]

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