Reply to DH and I don't drink: how to unwind/get romantic

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[quote=Anonymous]I was in a similar situation. Drinking wasn't really a factor (we both drink but drinking didn't help, so I don't believe you have to drink to have a satisfying sex life).

My husband's libido was low because he was feeling emasculated, in some ways by me, and in other ways by life circumstances out of our control. He was unsatisfied professionally, embarrassed about some financial issues, and not feeling great health wise. I was the breadwinner at the time, and I was in better financial shape.

In terms of my issues, I'd never had an orgasm with anyone else, but got into a pattern of faking it, which made things worse. I couldn't communicate that my partners needed to do things differently because as far as they were concerned (based on my fake response) they were doing everything right.

Fast forward: our lifestyle and circumstances have changed and DH's libido changed with it. So it may be worth talking with him about your lives together and how those arrangements are making everyone feel about themselves.

In terms of your orgasm issue, focus on figuring out how to achieve physical satisfaction, and i think the easiest way is to do it by yourself first. If you're having problems achieving an orgasm on your own, start by talking to your OB to rule out physical issues. If your husband becomes a willing and eager partner, he'll likely be happy to follow any guidance you give him once you know what works for you.

But it sounds like these are two separate issues, both of equal importance, that you'll need to address separately first.

One last question: does HE know you've never had an orgasm? [/quote]

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