Reply to Spouse fired for behavior recently caught shoplifting

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Spouse fired for behavior recently caught shoplifting "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Previous neuropsych exam indicates personality disorder not bipolar.  This assessment makes sense to me.  Poor insight, surface relationships, defensive, not taking feedback well except maybe from an authority etc.  didn't come out and name disorder type.

He indulges children and treats like playmate often so that when I enforce structure and discipline (bedtime, clean up) I look like the bad person.  He often ignores me.

Why should I be afraid?

I'm not saying I know despite wanting to shout this at him, because I want to see what else I can learn by observation etc.  If I blurt out that I know then he will minimize this problem (like with his work he says he "made a simple mistake" and they fired him) and will clamp down on his secrecy more.

Does anyone have legal counsel they recommend for this type of thing they can recommend?

[/quote]

OP.  One neuropsych exam is not definitive.  Was the neuropsych evaluator a PhD? On average it takes a bipolar person about 7 years to get properly diagnosed.  If you were not included in the neuropsych evaluation, then I also think it holds very little weight given what PPs above said about the unreliability of self-reporting patients.  I would take a copy of the neuropsych report to an MD psychiatrist who is highly experienced in mood disorders and ask for a re-evaluation, which includes an interview with you, and a second opinion about diagnosis.  You want to include consideration of bipolar I and bipolar II (the difference being the presence of frank mania v. hypomania).

Nothing you indicate above spells personality disorder over bipolar to me.  In fact, what you describe about the inability to provide structure and you being the parent to everyone including him and becoming the bad guy is exactly the dynamic between me and my now exDH who was diagnosed with bipolar.

As for legal counsel, the most important thing is that you get yourself to a family law attorney.  That person can explain the mechanics of a divorce, how to protect yourself from additional debt (for which spouses are liable), ramifications of the theft charge (and the family law attorney can either monitor the theft charge or consult with a criminal attorney if necessary), custody and child support or alimony.  You need to be careful, because you could actually end up supporting him with alimony if he lost his job.

I understand what you say about monitoring him quietly without letting him know what you know because he will then just lie and cover up.  I did the same and was shocked at what I found out.   I looked a credit card statements, monitored car mileage, cell phone calls, monitored alcohol and prescription meds, did a thorough search of the house and monitored computer use, computer history records and installed a key logger on the home computer.  What I knew initially - what prompted me to start monitoring -- turned out to be just the tip of the iceberg.

That said, it is dangerous for you to be flying blind in the face of a criminal charge, even what seems to be a misdemeanor.  It may be to your benefit to step in with an attorney to defend him, as any criminal record may make it more difficult to get a job.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics