Reply to 360-lb family member... No plans to lose weight. Odds of heart attack?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How is his quality of life? I mean, is he happy? [/quote]
He is unmarried, lives with his parents, unemployed, very angry all the time. [/quote]
Well, these are what need to be addressed. The weight is most likely a byproduct of all of these other issues.
[/quote]

To all the PPs who have accused me of being insensitive, we rarely comment on his weight. I think everyone is very gentle with him. He sometimes doesn't leave his room for days or bathe for weeks. Occasionally, we will ask him to improve his hygiene. He has had some health issues and claims that they have opened his eyes but he continues with his same habits. He eats healthy in front of family but he has a car and it is littered with McDonald's bags.

He has a small income of about $500/week from a family trust, so he isn't completely destitute. His living expenses are mostly taken care of by his parents. It's just very exhausting being concerned for him,[b] because I worry what will happen 15-20 years from now and who will be responsible for him[/b].

[/quote]

See, earlier you said you were worried he would die young and make his parents sad; now the truth comes out that you are worried he will live a long time and be a burden, presumably on you. You are still thinking about how his life affects you. You are not his parent, his child, or his spouse, so just leave him alone about his weight.[/quote]

OMG.

All of these concerns are valid. It is ok to love someone and want them to live a long life, and yet know that they probably won't. These feelings can exist simultaneously.

And when family members have a history of making bad decisions, it is wise to think ahead about the implications on your life - where they will live and how they will support themselves, and if your family will need to provide financial assistance and/or a place to live. Hopefully the parents will leave money for this guy, but if not, the siblings will probably end up getting involved in one way or another.

You seem enormously defensive.[/quote]

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