Reply to DH Cannot Handle Two Kids. How do you know when leaving is the right move?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thanks everyone for the insight. DH has been in counseling for a couple of years now for his anxiety and depression.  He is already on medication but does not take it regularly.  We have a guest bedroom and for several weeks we slept separately. That did seem to make an impact. Also, he does not get up in the night with the kids. It's as if he does not hear them.  I don't think he is having an affair but I do think he is emotionally connected to a woman at work. I don't totally blame him for that because everybody needs a friend at this stage,  but when he comes home and is aterrible jerk then it makes me stop and think.  He says he feels "trapped." he says he does not want to feel this way. Can't get out from under it. He says he knows it seems like he has everything (Beautiful healthy kids, beautiful wife, dog, successful career, makes good money), but he is unable to see it.

Thanks to everyone that says it gets better. That's what I needed. Hunkering down. I won't stop breastfeeding until the baby is ready. I honestly don't know why that would be a factor since she is not in our room. Interesting perspective though. [/quote]

I've been in your spot. Breastfeeding is physically draining and while I thought it was great when life got to the point where I felt like time could be better spent elsewhere, I weaned.

Weaning also allowed my husband to feed the baby, which helped his bond (I sucked at pumping). It gave me a bit of space so I could not feel so tethered.

We also got zero sleep and it was ME and not my DH who went through what you are describing. In hindsight, it was probably PPD, but honestly, I was depressed that my life as I knew it was over, my ability to freely choose what I want and have some spontaneity was done and I was exhausted. Like you, my DH stepped up. He did -- quite frankly -- everything for a period of a year or so. I basically was like your DH. Eventually I got therapy and medication and found my way out of the depression. But it was hard. And it wasn't me. I'm me now.

Your husband isn't well. I know it sucks and I know you've got tons of the plate. But continue to take it seriously, encourage your DH to take the meds, and take care of yourself. It gets better.[/quote]

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