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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have 1 other child.  How about your BF?  What are the other kids doing?  I think you definitely have to not think of this as a play date for the kids.  This is a date for you and BF and the kids are dragged along.  BF's son can bring his own toys.  Plan as many group activities as you can..something like a hike or the zoo that puts everyone on an equal start.[/quote]

Hi, [b]it is definitely not a date for me,[/b] I am busy supervising the two younger kids. My other son is older and mostly stays upstairs (he is five years older and usually comes down to say hello then retreats to his room).[/quote]

Stepmom here, and this is totally a date for you.  The boys aren't friends, the boys clearly aren't asking to hang out or play together.  When kids are toddlers, the parents choose the playmates and schedule play dates based on the adults they want to be with.  By elementary school, playdates are about the kids not the adults.  It may not feel date-like, but it is.

And "one more kid to parent" is exactly what will happen when you blend your families, which you appear to be trying to do.  Your BF will have two more kids to parent.  My feeling is that both of you have very unrealistic expectations.  You keep talking about "hosting" as if this is a playdate where the other family doesn't reciprocate.  Get out of the play date mindset.  How do you and your BF want to build a potentially happy, blended dynamic regardless of whether you are married? Plan activities that involve the adults and the kids together, lots of ideas from posters already.

Right now I give this an almost zero percent chance of working out, without the intervention of a counselor specializing in blending families.
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