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[quote=Anonymous]OP, mom of a teen girl who dances here. I know that one of the boys at our studio was horribly bullied by other boys over dancing ballet, to the point that he stopped for a year, around late elementary/early middle school, I think. He did come back because he loves it that much, and now as a teen he likely could bench-press a football player--he's that strong. But it does take extra fortitude for a boy to continue in dance, sadly.

I totally agree with those PPs saying these relatives need to be halted the instant they comment and told directly that they are hurtful, unsupportive and will not see much of your son if they don't stop; however, your DH -- not you -- needs to do this. They are his relatives; he's the dad; and they (and your son) need to hear him shut them down, especially if they say YOU are somehow trying to "make" your son gay with dance. They need to see that their son/grandson/male relative is as supportive of dance as you are. Likely they assume that this is mommy trying to make her son into a daughter and vicariously trying to fulfill her dance dreams or whatever, so the shutdown won't have much impact if you do it--harsh, but true. Dad must be on board and primed to deal with this head-on and announce that it has to stop, period. Is dad at all his shows? Does dad show a real interest in what he's doing? Is dad volunteering to help with shows (setting up the stage, or ushering, or whatever)? If son sees dad prominently involved, son will be stronger for it, knowing that dad as well as mom is fine with his activity.

If your son eventually moves on to another activity, be prepared to hear crap like, "Oh, I knew he'd think better of it" or "Glad that girly phase is over!" or "Now he can play football or baseball like all the other boys!" I would shut that down just as hard if it happens, as it would only reaffirm to your son that dance is somehow feminine. If he leaves dance of his own choice (and not due to pressure from ignorant relatives) he shouldn't leave with a negative impression.

Yes, have supportive adult family friends come to his recitals and shows and pay him a lot of attention.

Yes, absolutely have him research how athletes use ballet. I think there is something on YouTube that shows a group of football players trying to keep up with a professional ballerina; if you can find something similar with a male dancer rather than a ballerina that would be even better. Prime him to speak up to anyone who disses boys who dance by pointing out that dancers are athletes too.

The documentary someone mentioned earlier, about male dancers, is great. Not sure if your son is old enough to totally get into it but maybe show him segments if he's not.

Does he have a male teacher, or is there a male teacher or studio head where he dances? Does the studio have a boys' class or boys' program? It's fine if it doesn't! But if things get tough, and he does want to dance but the comments get to him, you might enlist a male dance teacher he admires to talk to him about being a boy in dance and why it's rewarding. Heck, I'd love to see your DH's relatives being talked to by a male dancer or male dance teacher. [/quote]

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