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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let it go and offer advice.  It is perfectly fine to reject something about the party you find objectionable. [/quote]

You can throw her a shower on your terms at a later date.[/quote]

Thanks but can you clarify, do you think I should rescind my offer of my house?  I agree I would be happy to let friend have at for this engagement event and I will handle a shower later.  Is that what you are saying?[/quote]

You already offered your house for the friend's engagement party.  You can't take that back.   Well, you can but it's pretty shitty of you to do so - especially after you told SIL and she was very excited about it.[/quote]

Yup.  What you say is, "Since it's my house, I'd prefer to handle the decorations and plates/cups/napkins.  I like your ideas for food, except that I'd love to do X instead of Y because of Z reason.  I'd rather not have a keg here, so I'll buy the drinks.  Please let me know if there are any specific things you'd like me to get.  And I'll draw up the list of family members we should invite; can you make a list of friends?  Thanks!"  Don't be overly controlling.  It's okay if it's not the exact party you would have planned; the goal is for your SIL to have fun with her family and friends.  [/quote]

This is very controlling. It is saying, lets do none of what you want and 100% of what I want - please and thanks don't change the controlling part.[/quote]

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