Reply to Mom Needs to Power Down Those Rotirs

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Pay the fifty dollars for your kid to move in early a few days. You all stay in a nearby (nice) hotel and let your wife help set up the dorm room but let your DD sleep in the dorm if she wants. Go out to lunch with your DD. This will set up an appropriate dynamic for visits in the future. You may not break that umbilical cord, but you can stretch it pretty thin.[/quote]

It will make the kid feel much happier too.  Sounds like they are close.  You are lucky to have such a great mom as a wife [/quote]

[b]Or maybe DD is desperate and ready to get away from an overbearing, overprotective mom and have space to breathe and be herself.[/b][/quote]

I am OP and yes, this is more the case. DD can't go about her daily business w/o Mom constantly checking in. She dies the same with me and it's annoying.

And us, when my brother went to West Point he was put on a bus and that was that! [/quote]

Sounds like you have real contempt for her.[/quote]

NP here. OP, I agree that you sound, if not contemptuous, certainly annoyed to the point you're not seeing that maybe your wife needs some help. If she is so anxious, or so controlling, that she truly is checking in on both DD and you throughout the day--she might benefit from therapy to figure out what in her past or her brain chemistry is making her this way. She's not functioning well as an adult, and you and DD end up feeling annoyed by her; her anxiety is distancing her own DD from her. Get her to accept professional help so she can have better relationships with you and DD. In other words: Can you step back from your annoyance objectively and see her as a person you love who possibly needs real help and who needs your compassion and frankness in order to get that help?

Haters will post that I'm letting her off the hook and she's just being a helicopter mom, etc.  But the whole constant checking in thing over the years (not just re: college) looks a lot like a person who needs reassurance to an extreme degree that her family is OK and maybe one who defines herself as a mother so strongly that it's damaging to all of you. [/quote]

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