Reply to Does anyone really truly regret having a kid or kids?

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Reply to "Does anyone really truly regret having a kid or kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I did not want children.  My husband did so we had one child.  I think that is the key for us.  I do not regret for a moment having her.  In fact, I thank God every day that I met my husband and he insisted that becoming a Dad was a non-negotiable for him.[/quote]

Same here.  DH didn't draw a hard line but I knew he wanted kids and I was worried he would leave me for someone who would have them (he swore he wouldn't! but still).  We agreed to have one and, now that DC is 4, we still think that is best for us.  I am unbelievably happy and grateful to have our one DC though.  It is absolute joy.  I think my life without DC would have been very comfortable but have felt a little aimless.  I know that when I was deliberately child free I would say, "Oh, I could volunteer here" or "I should take up x hobby" but I never actually did those things.  (Ironically, having a kid has made me much more interested in volunteering, but less able to do so.  Maybe when DC is older.)

Being a parent is amazing and I have no regrets.  But, also, it is very very hard.  The hardest thing is that it really shone a spotlight on the weaknesses in my marriage.  The problems our marriage had were all present pre-baby, and totally foreseeable: I knew we didn't have a fair division of household labor, for example, but it working okay until parenthood put extra pressure on it.  I knew DH was bad with money, but it wasn't a problem until I wanted to work less and parent more.  Take a hard look at your relationship and go to counseling before kids (and after).  We are stronger and better partners after getting through those discussions and rough patches, but it was bumpy.  [/quote]

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