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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is not developmentally appropriate for 12 year olds to be watching porn.  Like others said, it is very easy to wind up watching hardcore things, it's not like the 90s watching old Felicity videos.

The ethical thing is to let the other mom know.  Some of you are so afraid of your daughter suffering "social consequences" from something so small.  Interesting how afraid you are to speak up about such a small thing, because you're worried about peer pressure!  It amazes me when parents are so spineless because they're afraid of their kids being made fun of or something.  So let them watch whatever porn they want to watch?

[/quote]

It's not about being spineless.  It's about the fact telling another parent won't do any good.   And it could harm the parent/child relationship.  And even if you don't care about social harm, you should care about the relationship between you and your kid.   If you shut down communication, you are creating a bad situation all around.

And the reason I say it won't do any good is because it's so easy to get porn these days.   The kids will see it, no matter what parents say or forbid.   All you can do.....all you "should" do is discuss it with your kid.  And that mother should already be discussing it with her own kid.   Tell them not to view it when other kids are, if that's what you care about.   Tell them it's mostly fake, or worse, pressured/drugged/forced sex.  Tell them that many participants are trafficked for sex.   Tell them the amateur videos are often uploaded without everyone's permission/knowledge.  Tell them some participants may be underage and they are at serious risk if they download it.     In other words, tell them it's not so simple as watching naked people having sex.  [/quote]

I posted earlier encouraging OP to protect her relationship with her child and completely agree with this poster. I'm not the police of every other teen my child interacts with. It will do no good to tell the parent. If the kids were snorting coke, yes, tell the parent. But 12 year olds are going to see porn. I was 12 in the early 90s and had seen porn.

I'm protecting my teens relationship with ME first and foremost by encouraging her not to hide from me. And she won't ever approach parents with her problems if you run to the other parents  instead of teaching her how to handle herself in uncomfortable situations. Telling the parents is focusing on the wrong thing. They probably won't care anyway, sadly, as my experience has taught me.

Again, I wouldn't set a rule that my child couldn't  go to their house, but I'd make sure we were otherwise engaged if the invitation happens  again. [/quote]

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