Reply to I Got Out! You Can, Too.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Funny, DH here who was accused of all of this by XW and more - little of it was true.  Was I a saint, not at all but she claimed she was abused by me as well.  Seven years later the older kids moved in with me (rarely talk to her) and the younger ones can't wait.   XW plays the victim card like Kathy Griffin and Hillary Clinton, never taken even a little blame for why the relationship failed.  Always two sides to the story OP.[/quote]

OP here. He admits he has done all these things.  They were just my fault, you see.  If I just said things differently or didn't ask him to spend time with the kids or ask him why he had condoms in his work luggage, he wouldn't have treated me that way. This is how abusers work.  He is also the one who wanted all of our divorce records sealed, not me.

That being said, your XW may have had borderline personality disorder or some traits of it, which is more common in women than narcissism, which is more present than in men.  Dramatic threats is kind of a hallmark of borderlines, but usually they just want you back and will do anything to get you back and then get very angry when you won't.  Your story and mine are dissimilar in that I am not borderline and my allegations were true and even admitted by him, while in your case you state that the allegations were unfounded and made for some other reason.  The fact that your kids seem to be wanting out of that environment appears to bear you out.  So I don't think there are always two sides.  I think it is possible that when you are dealing with damaged people, you have to keep reminding yourself you aren't the crazy one and the treatment you and your children receive is not right.

Now whether my XH will admit these things to his new girlfriend - I doubt it.  I'm sure it is still all my fault and I am unreasonable and awful.  Kind if funny since I don't get alimony or child support, which is the usual reason men complain about the ex![/quote]

Someone on here recommended this book to me and it was incredible. Grab it

[b]Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Written by: Lundy Bancroft [/b]
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