Reply to 5th Grade DD and boyfriend texting "I love you", WTF?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]my children aren't allowed to have boyfriends/girlfriends at 11.[/b] They aren't allowed to text boys or girls they "like" in a one on one chat . This is what I said to my 5th grader and 8th grader about this:

"I know you like this boy/girl, keep on liking him/her but that person is not a boy/girlfriend. You may not text with them one on one. A group chat is fine" I monitor all texts. They know that.

If I were you I'd take the texting aspect of the device away without shaming her. She's proven she doesn't have the emotional maturity to use it. This is why social media is such a problem as well, so go ahead and set a rule for when she'll get Instagram and Snapchat. Make it 13 or 8th grade or whichever comes last. The pressure is about to come for her to have these apps if it hasn't already. [/quote]

This rule is impossible for you to enforce. As well as a rule that encourages your children to go behind your back.[/quote]
It isn't impossible. I always know where my 11 year old is ans what she's doing. She doesn't have a boyfriend because I say so. She likes a boy, she told me about it and I said "good! Get dressed for gymnastics." 
I do not encourage or allow time and space for romantic relationships to develop between 11 year old 5th graders. No way. FWIW, I have an older child. It worked for her too. As she gets older and shows maturity, she can prove she's ready for romantic relationships. [/quote]

You can't control her feelings. And you can't control whom she talks to at school. If she wants to have a boyfriend, and you shut down any talk of boyfriends, then there's a good chance that she just won't tell you about it.

Keep in mind that at this age, there is no actual activity involved in having a boyfriend/girlfriend, except for texting. You can control the texting.

Also, it's a mistake -- in my experience as both child and parent -- to conclude that if it worked for this child, it will work for that child. Children are different, because people are different.[/quote]
Thank you oh wise one. 
When I said "it worked" I meant I did it for her too. 
And it's fine for her to like people, have feelings, crushes etc and I don't wish to control that. It's not fine for her to develop a relationship, tell that romantic interest she loves him on text. And at 11 I DO have control over that. 
And to thenposters who think it's the same as passing notes and saying Luv ya. Lylas, it's not.  ILYSM as a comment on Instagram is quite different than an 11 year old telling a boy she loves him. [/quote]

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