Reply to My boys don't want me to get remarried

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did you have reasons for divorce that they thought were adequate?  If you can decide you don't want to live with their dad, they can decide they don't want to live with your boyfriend.

Maybe they don't think your relationship will last.  Fresh off a divorce, you can't really expect them to.[/quote]

How is 4 years fresh off a divorce?

NP, btw.[/quote]

It is, to a child or teenager.  That's how long it takes to settle in to the new way of living.  [/quote]

Agree.  The divorce is not as new, but the life of a teenager is constantly changing and they have to learn to understand and incorporate the divorce into their way of thinking about their family at each stage of life.  This will continue as they develop into adulthood.  It is very, very common for parents to be ready before the children are.  And really, who is ever ready to live with someone not of their own choosing?[/quote]
And it Hanes in adulthood. When your children grow up and get married, how will step-parents fit in? Have babies of their own? Step-grandma? I myself had a step-grandma, and my children great-step grandma. It was weird for MY parents when this happened. Where do they fit in as grandparents? It's every changing. [/quote]

Exactly.  Does this guy have kids?  Does he want more kids?  Are you going to force your children to spend time with your fiance's extended family?  Will he be disciplining them and having a say in major life decisions?  Are you thinking your kids will take care of him when he is old?  There is a lot of change and complexity here.  Enjoying his company sometimes (or maybe just tolerating but OP wants to believe they enjoy it) is beside the point.  The stakes are a lot higher now that you are engaged.[/quote]

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