Reply to 2nd grader being excluded from birthday parties

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]WTH? You've answered your own question. I am sure you have told your son to pick X number of people to have at his sleepover or go to the game. Other families are doing the same thing and now you want to know why he is excluded. Think about what you just wrote.

[b]Forget the "b-list" nonsense. 2nd grade boys don't think that way.[/b] At what point do you think it is ok for OTHER people to invite who they want to birthday parties, though?[/quote]

Second grade boys don't think that way but some parents DEFINITELY do and make birthday lists accordingly.

I have 3 kids in NW DC, the youngest is now in 3rd.  I've seen just about every version of birthday party and playdate "inviting".  
-I've seen parents definitely make or tweek or influence the invite lists for their kids all the way through elementary. 
-Others will only host play dates with the kids of the "A" list parents. 
In this area, parents use their kids to advance their own social ambitions all the time.

Thankfully [b]around 4th grade the kids start to run their own friendships [/b]and everything (in my experience with typical and social kids) gets easier.  Less parental involvement = much better.

[/quote]

We are in - gasp! - Rockville, and my third-grader has been running her own friendship for a couple of years now. She compiles her own list of birthday party invitees (our parties are smaller now, so the total is no more than 8- 10 kids).[/quote]

Second grade boys might not thing in a way like B-list, BUT they get that a party place allows for 15.  They get that you reciprocate inviting kids who have invited you most recently to parties and/or who you are friends with the most.  It will likely be the mom who may then say, 
"Zava Zone allows for 15 kids.  We can invite 15 and if only 12 can come, then we can invite the other 3 you were hoping could also make it."  Meaning, a second grader isn't thinking, "Hey, let's put Billy on my b-list," but he understands the concept of a b-list and Billy is nevertheless on the b-list.  That's why a lot of evites have the guest lists hidden.  No other reason...this way you can't see when the other kids were invited and when they rsvped.  (Were they invited 7 days earlier than your kid was or vice versa?)[/quote]

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