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[quote=Anonymous]This doesn't totally solve it, because I still "notice" way more than DH does, but DH and I had it OUT (on a vacation) about 6 months ago because I was exhausted being the "planner" all the time. It takes so much energy to be the one that knows everything that needs to be done.

Anyway, my DH came at me with the "just ask me!" thing, which I had been doing. I made the point to him that it made me feel like a nag to have to be constantly asking him. I appreciate that he would do whatever I asked him, but I felt like his mom and it made me feel so frustrated and naggy.

He set up a reminder in his phone twice a week to ask me if there's anything he can help with. That has been SO HELPFUL. Like I said, it doesn't totally resolve it because I still notice way more than he does, but what has been interesting is that after a few months of asking twice a week and taking the initiative -- he started noticing a lot more on his own.

I don't care that he had to set up a reminder in his phone to ask me to help. Whatever you need to get in a routine. But it has become much more natural for him now, and he has really stepped up and become a more equal partner in noticing. Still not equal, I think I'll always be more "on top" of home/family stuff, but it is far better. [/quote]

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