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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your husband is being a bit of a jerk, or at least insensitive, for not recognizing that you need some down time away from his mom and making sure that you get it.  Even letting you go to another room of the house *undisturbed* would be helpful.

You shouldn't have to be "On" all the time.[/quote]

[b]DH agrees in theory but when the time comes and she's here he acts like we haven't discussed it prior to the visit. [/b]He says it's only a few times a year and I should just suck it up. He says he has to spend time with my parents far more often (they're local) but to me it's not the same because it's a few hours at a time and we can leave anytime to go to our own home and when MIL visits there's never a break or if I take one I'm considered rude.

There's also the issue with DH communicating with me when she's here. He just assumes we're on the same page. She came in to town yesterday and I worked all day and he called and asked me where I was because he thought I would have been home by then (think work hours end at 5:00 and he called at 5:15). He was annoyed because they were waiting for me to go pick DS up at school and I was holding MIL up from being able to see DS. WTF? Why do they need me to be there?

Same thing with this morning. I had to get to work and DH was staying home with MIL and so they took DS to school but he wanted me to wait to leave until after they got home because he had scheduled a contractor to come. But he didn't tell me that until this morning so I got upset because I was going to be late but it just made me look bad in front of MIL, like an example of how I overreact.

-OP[/quote]

PP here just read the follow-up.

I would recommend that the day before she arrives, you sit down with DH and go over the schedule.  Remind him that you're planning to do x, y, and z, and that he's covering whatever pick ups drop offs, etc.  Remind him that his mother is primarily his responsibility, and that you are giving them some space so she can interact more with him and your son, presumably why she is here in the first place.

If you're feeling really petty (in other words, if he is being a real arse), remind him that one day with your MIL (say, 8 am to 8 pm) is equal to 3-4 evenings with your parents, which is...how often does he see them? Twice a month?  However many weeks/months worth of time he spends.  If you can make a time comparison like that in your favor, do it.  Also?  Tell him he can skip some visits with your family if he needs more time to himself.  Offer that, rather than spend 24-7 with your MIL.[/quote]

3 hours 4+ times a month isn't as grueling as 24/7 for 1 or more days.  They have their own house to bath in, poop in, run a kitchen, etc.  One guest we had stopped up toilets 5 times in 3 days.  Bitched about a hole in a towel and us using paper towels over stuff in a microwave rather than a preferred product.

Then went on a lecture about me not wanting to invite estranged siblings [major ] to a wedding.  And that's a relative on my side.  Guest wasn't even a MIL-when she was alive she was easy and polite. [/quote]

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