Reply to Referring to the father of your child inclusively

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here.

It is petty. I don't have much respect for this woman because she's using the child support to stay at home and bankroll her lifestyle while her kids are in school full time. It's frustrating that [b]my brother is holding up his end of the bargain[/b] but it's never enough for her.

Here is the thing: my brother is not a responsible person in his personal life. He's been notoriously single and hasn't had positive relationships. She knew this going in but wanted him to change. I think she expected him to change once she got pregnant and he didn't, in fact it may have gotten worse. I suspect she had feelings for him and wanted more than a one night stand but he couldn't give that to her so she's resentful and takes it out on him by calling him a deadbeat.

That being said, I've been judgemental. I only know my brothers side of the story. My niece is pretty awesome and I may feel differently if I put in effort to developing a relationship with the mother of his child. [/quote]

Here's the thing: your brother is not holding up his end of the bargain. The "bargain" is not with this child's mother, it is wth his child.

OP, are you a parent? I can't imagine you are because I can't believe that any parent really believes that the only responsibility the other parent has to their child is to hand over some cash and show up occassionally. I have a very traditional household, and while I work full time, my DH works crazy hours and makes more money. But even though he provides well, I give him hell if he isn't making an effort to connect with our DCs. So he has to work late and won't be home until after bedtime? he better make 5 min to FaceTime with them at dinner. He is on work travel? He better call to say good morning before they go t school.

You and your brother need to stop focusing on how this woman "did him wrong" and start focusing on making it right with his child.[/quote]

He literally cannot. He works away for 1-2 months at a time and will spend days with the when he's home. He makes the effort to call and FaceTime when he's away.

He can't quit his job. It's his own consulting business and he is often overseas. She also knew this going in what his work was like. [/quote]

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