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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, can you run this by a counselor specializing in adoption? CASE could be a resource (though not inexpensive by any means).  I found my birth family and while it was a very successful reunion, it's not without issues that neither of us had anticipated. [/quote]

OP here, thanks to PPs for all the suggestions.  I have completely come to terms with the possibility that she will not want contact--mostly because I don't see my adoption as being "rejected" by my biological mother in the first place.  I have considered the possibility that I was conceived during an assault, but I need to think through that more carefully, i.e., what emotional damage will I inflict by reaching out?  To the PP quoted above who mentioned issues that neither person had considered, can you give some examples?[/quote]

PP here.  I guess the biggest issue was that our expectations of why we both wanted a reunion and how much a part of each other's lives weren't in sync.  You need to ask yourself why you want to find your birth family and what you hope to see happen.  With my family, they wanted me to be a much bigger part of their life than I was prepared to be, and my birth mother immediately wanted to "mother" me.

Really, there are so many possibilities that you can't contemplate all kinds of reactions, but I think carefully considering your motivations and hopes is a good start.[/quote]

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