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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I would worry less about why your ex is dysfunctional and more about how to shield your child from it.
As PPs have said, at this point it is appropriate for you to gently explain to your son that your ex is angry at you, punishing him and that it's not okay for grownups to act this way. Tell him you're sorry he's hurting, be supportive and get him some therapy. You too.
As for your POS ex....
First, do you have a formal child support and custody agreement with him? If not, it's time to get one ASAP. And be sure to include your concerns about this incident when you're working with a mediator or attorney to formalize the agreements.
Second, manage expectations. Yours and your son's. Your ex has shown that he is unreliable and insensitive. He may never change. What you can change is your reaction to him.
Keep your own conversations with him to a pleasant minimum and have no expectation of him other than him behaving as he has in the past.
Outside of whatever formal visitation you guys come up with, don't promise your son any extra  time with dad...even if your ex tells you he's coming. 
 If it happens,  cool. Happy surprise. 
If not, he neither knew nor expected it. The damage is lessened because there was no expectation of him coming through in the first place.
You can't control your ex breaking promises, but hopefully with your support and that of a therapist, your son will have support when these things happen.

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