Reply to How do I talk about this with the kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You keep saying he's a good dad - this is not the kind of thing a good dad does to his family and the (original) mother of his children.

I can't wrap my head around the fact that you're not leaving him. This is going to mess up your kids in all sorts of ways, especially since you're basically condoning what he did for some crazy reason. [/quote]
I completely understand. This is an emotional response very similar to what I had in the beginning.

Think of how the alternative will mess the kids up.  Smaller house, less money, the disruption of a move, less time with them, less control over their lives.  Their relationship with the half-sister will be poisoned because "she's the reason daddy left us."  Their relationship with their dad poisoned because "daddy left us because he wanted another kid" or similar.  There are no perfect options here.

He did a very bad thing.  I'm not condoning it.  But I don't have to let it disrupt my life and the life of my children either.  I'm committed to minimizing its harm for my children and that's why I wanted to ask for advice for people who have been there.  It doesn't sound like this is a common, though. [/quote]

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