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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Chemotherapy varies. I'm certainly in the camp of honoring he wishes of the patient, but also being good relatives if there is depression on top of it.  All I want to say here is that chemo and chemo experiences vary.

Chemo really varies. Not all chemo patients are terribly immune suppressed. Many people work part time during the process.  I did ban people during all periods when my husband was feeling sick from the chemo, but for about 8 days in every 2 week cycle he was up and around. He worked part time. There are many people on chemo leading full and active lives. [/quote]

Stage III survivor here. It's not really the chemo that varies; it is the type of cancer, the stage, and the grade. Stage IIA cervical cancer is not nearly as invasive as a Stage IIIB (example based on the surgery OPs mom had). They use entirely different drugs. I had 3 different cycles with 3 different drugs. Two of them I could've passed as "just having the flu" for the entire winter. The last one put me in the hospital for the better part of 6 months. That's the one where my skin became patchy and thin, my eyes sunk, I lost weight, I needed constant IV fluids. I tried telecommuting and had to give it up when I was only conscious for a couple hours a day and couldn't focus. I had (and still have) chemo brain where I can't remember basic things. It was my life and question and I would have absolutely cut out anyone who went against my wishes. Don't think you know better and everyone feels better with their friends and family around them. I felt best when I was drugged and not worrying about why you look like you're going to cry sitting in the chair next to me. [/quote]

No, I meant the chemo (although what chemo you get is a function of what you need).  Stage III caregiver here - Mileage varies.  That point remains true.  Generally speaking, Many people continue to work during the time between infusions, albeit with a lighter schedule.  I'm sorry your seem to have gotten a rough draw on symptoms.  It sucks.  Good luck with the chemo brain. It is a challenge.

Of course, no one should have visitors while feeling crappy or nearly unconscious unless they want visitors.  However, the point remains that many people live their lives on the days in between infusions.  A Stage IV friend of mine continues to sing in a choir, and another Stage IV friend, since deceased, flew out to visit me on her "good week". You couldn't do this, but we don't know what will happen to MIL. [/quote]

NP here. Yes, there are various drugs that comprise chemo. Obviously not all kinds of chemo drugs lead to hair loss.  My sister was told by her doctors to work and keep busy so as to take her mind off of things. She kept her regular work schedule, commuting on public transportation downtown. She really only had two or three days out of every cycle (for her, every 3 weeks) that she felt really badly, and unlike the Stage III survivor (congrats to you, btw!), was in excellent health and condition. You couldn't tell she was doing chemo except for her hair loss.  She went to NYC concerts and Broadway shows, sports games, etc.

The reason why my sister didn't want to see anyone was that she couldn't deal with managing their own fears about cancer in addition to her own. She said she felt like she had to be the source of comfort for people worried about her, which she found mentally exhausting.  Physically she was fine, but emotionally needed to isolate herself a bit.[/quote]

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