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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. This morning my dad called. Yesterday, the day after my stepmom got home from major abdominal surgery (they removed the tumor, plus ovaries, uterus, and part of her colon and lesions from abdominal wall) he threw out his back horribly and is bedridden, as is she. I just bought a ticket and am flying across country today and will be there tonight. But neither of them are mobile right now and both are in terrible shape. I hope that I can help them and arrange help for them--this is just the start of a long process. Times like this I wished I lived close to home instead of across the country. My mom, who is in her late 70s, also lives alone. [/quote]

OP.  I'm sorry.  One bit of advice to take or leave: manage their pills with alarm clocks, and don't wait for them to ask.  It is easier to keep things under control than it is to get them back under control. I'm sorry.  Also, take this or leave this, but judging by that surgery, my best guesses about what cancer that implies, and what I know about certain abdominal chemos, I question if your MIL's beliefs about her odds of recovery are consistent with the doctor's.  I watched my FIL's death be all the harder for him and my MIL because of a disconnect between his beliefs about survival and the treatment he was receiving.  I most certainly am projecting, but I urge you to try and get the doctor alone.[/quote]

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