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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For all you that think the DH is just a jerk, consider that he has ADD.  My Dh does and as a result he is constantly losing his wallet, keys, phone, etc.  Not losing them for real, but always running around the house looking for them.  It is also really difficult for him to remember to put things back where he got them (which is why he's always losing his things).  He will often take the cc out of my wallet and leave it where he was using it with the full intention of putting it back after finishing whatever he was doing.  but then inevitably he forgets to.

OP - as frustrating as it is, you cannot change him.  To ease your frustration, you need to take measures to protect yourself.  Have a separate pocket or zipped pouch or something that is always in your purse that holds an extra cc, extra money and whatever you need for your upcoming appointments (DD's passport).  It's what I started doing and it's saved me a bunch of heartache.[/quote]

I have ADHD and I don't take DH's stuff without permission. I have before when I got in a bind because I misplaced my wallet (which happened way more than I like to admit). After a time or two of him having to ask me to replace something I shouldn't have had in the first place, we had a huge fight. I realized how frustrating it was for him. I lose things all the time, so not having a particular credit card when I wanted to purchase something online wouldn't get under my skin. I'd just think I misplaced it. Again. But DH is super organized and it drove him crazy. After that it clicked. Not how to fix the problem, but that it was a problem. I was undiagnosed at that time, so I had to use trial and error to find a strategy that worked for me. Now I'm on meds and it's so much better.

My point is, even with ADHD, people can be considerate. It might take them longer to get it right, but there's no reason they can't at least try. It's not just about being organized, it's about being respectful and caring about your partner's feelings.

The best thing for me was having a designated space for my belongings, especially the essentials I need when I leave the house. I have a little shelf by the front door for my purse, my wallet, my keys, earbuds, a reusable shopping bag, and some slip on shoes. If I take my wallet out of my purse, I always leave my purse there so I can slip it back in when I get home. Maybe you can track where DH sets his stuff down and make him a station there. Trying to train him to put things in a new spot will be too much for him. The first step is getting everything in one place. Then if you want to move it, see how he feels about it. Keep your stuff in a separate place because if he goes to get his keys and they didn't get out there, you don't want him to grab yours instead. Maybe even put yours in an inconvenient place without telling him where you're keeping them. It's more work for everyone for a little while, but you're breaking decades worth of bad habits. It's possible though. I thought I was hopeless and now I haven't lost my keys in about 3 years. (Sometimes in the winter I'll forget to take them out of my coat pocket and put them on the shelf, but that's rare. Once I woke up in the middle of the night almost in panic mode, because I had forgotten to put them away.)[/quote]

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