Reply to I'd like to tell Sheryl Sandberg to STFU.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was skeptical of "Lean In" but nonetheless read it.

Some of the points in it were valid, [b]like making yourself take a seat at the main table during meetings and asking for big assignments[/b].  But I also had some major issues with it -- most notably the underlying premise that work is the be-all, end-all source of a person's fulfillment, and that if you choose other sources of fulfillment (family, a balanced life, interests outside of work) you are somehow not doing "enough."  Also, as another poster pointed out, she assumed that her choices were viable for most women, rather than only for the most highly qualified, economically advantaged, sough- after women who begin with bargaining power.  She admits now that she did not adequately consider the realities of women with lower economic status, women who do the majority of caregiving, single mothers, etc.

I too am very sorry she lost her husband, and her piece about having to tell her kids that their dad had died was devastating.  But, eh, I'm not sure I will read her book.[/quote]

These are valid and to be encouraged, but studies have shown that when women do stuff like this, they are given the side-eye, seen as ambitious, bitchy, versus guys who are just go-getters. And also treated this way BY other women who feel like they don't know their place. She is oblivious that this is all at play in some workplaces. It shouldn't be that way, but it is.[/quote]

I don
't think she is necessarily oblivious to it, but what are you going to do? I am not going to play coy because people don't think it is my place. If more women felt comfortable stepping up, the notion that  it isn't our place would quickly disappear.[/quote]

What are you going to do? It depends, sometimes you have to do things to get ahead that are different than white men or rich women. It's not that women are not stepping up, it's that we do it in other ways.

I personally just let men call me bossy, pushy, bitchy. I grew up with 8 brothers, I don't mind the side eye... but I also don't expect every woman to take the same path.

Also, missing, is some men don't want to lean in either. They are looked down on for want to be a teacher or a nurse or not "sitting at the table" ... why act like they are weak, maybe they just like to see their kids. [/quote]

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