Reply to The college arms race is harming us as parents and making our kids sick!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is a cultural problem -- not just a family issue, especially in schools where there are lots of families who are obsessed with college admissions and see it as a really high-stakes process.  The number of DC's friends who were in therapy skyrocketed junior year and the stress levels remained high throughout senior year.  Empathetic kids who are not dealing with these pressures personally still find themselves taking care of friends who are, walking on eggshells, keeping quiet about their own plans and not asking about others, etc.

At a policy level, I think getting rid of all forms of early action/decision and having every kid get every admissions decision at once would make things better.  And superscoring has been a cash cow for College Board but makes the pressure start earlier and last longer for students.  Our largely privatized approach to elite education creates collective action problems that get in the way of addressing the crazy kinds of stress we're subjecting (UMC?) teens to these days.

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It's definitely an issue that has infiltrated our culture. We are a typical family. My dh works an IT job and I am a nurse. We went to good, but average schools...GMU and VT, and encourage our kids to do their best, but wouldn't want them to go somewhere like Harvard even if they could get in. Our HS dd literally has panic attacks over grades. She gets mostly As, with the occasional B or C, and is convinced that she will never be able to get into a "good college" so she can go to a "good med school." She wants to be a doctor, and the culture of this area has convinced her that a B in Geometry can completely alter her future. It's crazy, and unhealthy, and even the kids who have laid back parents with zero pressure at home are learning it from school. [/quote]

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