Reply to I wanted to have sex with DH today

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "I wanted to have sex with DH today"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why are you in charge of cooking dinner AND cleaning up?  Why doesn't DH do one or the other?  You are doing every single household chore.  Why aren't your kids helping with cleaning up their toys?

No wonder so many of you want a divorce, you let your men be useless.  My husband would NEVER get away with this, and he grew up in the Middle East, far from our "enlightened" society where women have the freedom to... do all the work all the time?[/quote]

At first it was because he was always working. He worked very long days, would often work late into the night and would sometimes have to go in early on top of that. I think he just thinks that because he works so hard (which I have said I appreciate very much) his first priority when NOT working should be to take that spare time and relax. He doesn't seem to consider that his making his own relaxation a priority is to my and our detriment. And yes I've said that to him multiple times before.

Also his parents have this relationship x10. His father is beyond useless, but works hard. His mother never worked and raised 4 kids, of whom he is the youngest. He seems to try to model their dynamic with me. [/quote]

OP, he does this because you let him do it. Maybe he used to work very long days, but apparently he now has enough time to work out and watch TV, while you are shouldering a full time job AND all the domestic stuff. When do you have time to work out? When do you watch TV? You need to be more assertive in asking him to do things. It is clear that he will not do them on his own unless reminded. Asking can help establish a routine that includes him helping and being more considerate of you having free time as well.

My husband brings in about 2/3 of our HHI. I do about 2/3 of the domestic stuff. He hangs out with DD while I make dinner. They do the laundry and take out the trash/recycling. He helps with her homework. I cook and clean up dinner. If I find that DH is slipping into a routine of not doing the things that he's responsible for (trash, laundry, and cat stuff), I straight up ask him, "Hey, can you take out the trash? It's overflowing" or whatever.

And if I am prioritizing sex with him on a particular day, that is a thing that gets communicated early in the day. Usually in a coy way as well as a way that reminds him of the house stuff that needs to happen before we get busy.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics