Reply to I guess I still don't understand transgender definitions of gay and straight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a cisgender woman, and I have to say: Trans people (the ones I've met, the ones I actually know as people who have thoughts and feelings and hopes and doubts and think about bathrooms yes and the rate of suicide in their youth yes but also cooking dinner and doing well at whatever work project they're dealing with) have blown my mind open in realizing what I have always assumed was just, you know, true & unchanging about gender and sex. I'm really grateful to them.

OP, you sound really open to learning, and I hope you've gotten some context for how trans people experience their gender & their sexuality.

Some of this language still feels more stilted & academic than intuitive to me, but I assume it's because I'm cis and I've only dated cisgendered people. So I've never had to get language around it, because how I experience my gender is reflected in the world around me. I'm a tomboy who grew up to be a woman who can get it together to put on a dress for occasions. And all hail the feminists of the 70s who helped make sure that my version of girlhood raised fewer eyebrows than it would have 20 years before. My gender & the sex everyone assumed I was didn't conflict.

But to the people who feel really alienated by this language, I guess I just offer you the fact that listening to the experiences of other people (and the work that allies to trans people have done--like in this thread--to remind me that yeah of course a penis is a female sex organ if a transfeminine woman has one but also if I'm not having sex with a transfemine woman...then I don't need to worry about her sex organs.) has opened my eyes to the mutability of gender in really useful ways.

It's also made me a (slightly?) less self-involved asshole. And I think that's essentially the point of our time on earth. [/quote]

You are a straight woman, so it's easy for you to say that it doesn't matter to you if trans politics consider a penis a female sex organ if it's on a transwoman.

It *does* matter greatly to lesbians, who have fought for decades for their rights to love who they love- other women- without persecution or hatred. It's been a long, hard-fought battle. But now trans politics say that lesbians who won't have sex with transwomen are "genital fetishists" (see the section on the "cotton ceiling" here by a lesbian feminist: https://sisteroutrider.wordpress.com/2017/02/22/lezbehonest-about-queer-politics-erasing-lesbian-women/). Or see the video by trans activist Riley J. Cooper on page 2 of this thread. It reeks of homophobia.[/quote]

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