Reply to Why does my Mother think she can hate me but have a relationship with my minor children?

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[quote=Anonymous]Dealing with mental illness is so incredibly hard.  If OP's mom is borderline, it can be a nightmare (both for the mom and the OP, and basically almost everyone else around the mom).  My brother was borderline (severely) and I never left him alone with my children and in fact limited my kids' contact with him to short bursts of time when I knew he was likely to be okay, but the second he started acting oddly, I would remove them from the situation.  True, he was not my kids' grandparent, but he was their uncle.  He could turn on a dime and the only time my oldest child witnessed it, she was three years old and it is one of the very few things she remembers from that young age (she still, at age 7, will reference her uncle's anger and will ask why he was so angry).

Untreated mental illness also can be very scary and confusing for a child.  I don't know the whole story here (none of us do), but if the mom is borderline and untreated, I also would be very reticent to allow contact.  If you've never dealt with a severely borderline person, you have no idea what it's like.  It's incredible.  And heartbreaking.  And panic-inducing.  It's basically torture for the person with the disorder, as well as their families and friends.

I also would say that even if OP's mom isn't mentally ill, I would not trust someone around my kids if they went around spreading lies about me.  I would be concerned how that person would interact with my children.  I don't think there's anything wrong with protecting my kids from people like that, even if they are blood-related.  [/quote]

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