Reply to What obligation do I have to cook for and tolerate my vegan MIL?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "What obligation do I have to cook for and tolerate my vegan MIL? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]My sister's inlaws not only are vegan, they don't eat oil. Of any kind. And they proselytize about their lifestyle. When she was nursing her baby, her MIL tried to get her to go to some vegan food camp to learn to eat properly. And you know what's really hard? Making oil-less vegan food at Passover when, if you are strict, you can't eat legumes or wheat or grains -- so there goes soy, tofu, peanut butter, pasta, etc. Making the seder last year was interesting (my parents host all the inlaws). Oh, and their dog is vegan too. And they bring him everywhere. And he hates children.

They are nice people though and do a lot for my sister in terms of babysitting and helping out. What's really funny is that their son, my BIL, is a huge meat-eater of the Atkins/Paleo variety. My sister has basically resorted to a combination of things when they visit (which is monthly at least because they are only an hour away): takeout they will eat; keeping stuff on hand she knows they will eat; having them bring some food they'll eat, like snacks; and doing a sort of smorgasboard for meals, in which she makes or provides a bunch of things and people mix and match what they want.

For you I would recommend a similar approach. Unless it isn't in the budget, just do Lebanese or whatever takeout she'll eat for at least half of the dinners you serve. Keep some staples on hand that she likes -- it's really not hard to find whole wheat pasta or salt-free nuts these days. Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Wegmans. If you really can't find things, ask her to bring extras so you can keep them on hand for her. Especially of snack-type things. And for dinners you cook, do the smorgasboard. Salad and a starch (potato, sweet potato); store-bought dressing she will eat and whatever you like; then some kind of protein -- meat or fish for you, vegan cheese or nuts for her. Everyone takes what they want. Dessert is a silly hill to die on. Just serve fruit if she's so health-conscious, and eat chocolate with it for you if you want some. If you serve the same thing to her 3 nights in a row, who cares. If she complains, just tell her (nicely) that you are doing your best to accommodate but her diet is very restrictive and if she wants something other than the vegan food you are capable of making, she or DH will have to make it themselves.

And last -- unless you have always disliked her, recognize that the baby stage you are in makes this harder. Having an infant makes everything seem overwhelming. It will get better as your child gets older and more independent. She will always find something to criticize because that's how some people are, but you have to just let it roll off. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics