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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My in-laws are visiting from overseas where seat belt use is not common. I am very strict about seat belts and [b]DH has warned me that his FIL has never worn one and that in his culture it would be incredibly disrespectful to make him[/b][b]. I don't want to cause upset but I also don't my DC (9 and 13) riding in a vehicle with an restrained occupant.[/quote]

OP, see the bold text, from your original post. Does your DH truly have your back, and will your DH stand up to his father if this becomes a scene? You need to ensure, before FIL arrives, that DH will be the one to tell his dad that not wearing a seat belt is not acceptable and must be done every single time. DH, not you, must have this conversation. If DH leaves it to you to do this with his dad, that too should not be acceptable to YOU.

Print out a page with whatever the law or regulation is that says there are fines or points on your driving record if you have an unbelted passenger. Use a highlighter on them. Start with DH telling his dad nicely, "In the U.S. it's the law to wear a seat belt, and here where we live, if an officer sees you do not have on a belt, wife and I -- not you -- will be fined and may have black marks against our driving record or even have to go to court" (fudge that if you must, OP; court's not likely but after enough points, who knows....) If FIL balks, pull the page out of the glove compartment and show him.

I personally think the safety aspect of not letting his body fly into his grandchildren and injuring them in an accident should be more than enough to make FIL buckle up on his own,but it sounds as if he won't see that argument at all, so you may need just to go with the "we will be in legal trouble" argument.

It's worrying that your DH is already trying to set expectations with you by saying it would be "incredibly disrespectful" to ask FIL to wear a belt. Sounds like DH is trying to buffer himself from your being angry when FIL refuses to belt up and DH shrugs and says, "Well, OK, dad, I wish you would, but...." I really hope your DH will  not cave when faced with his dad. It's much more disrespectful of every other person in the car (again, [i]his own grandkids)[/i] if FIL resists. No belt, no riding.[/quote]

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