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[quote=Lonely_Sojourner][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Lonely_Sojourner][quote=Anonymous]Perhaps, Internet dating isn't for you since you prefer interpersonal contact and it would be hard to perceive online if a woman is a match  for your southern charm. Are you looking for someone in your age range? Someone without kids? Someone long-term? Short term?

You seem to have many great qualities and should have no problem finding a suitable partner. You may just have to put yourself out there and get involved in some activities or groups so you can meet new people. [/quote]

Thank you as well for responding.  I'm open to dating ladies with or without kids and I am not hell-bent on age either.  My last relationship was with a single mom with three kids and she was in her late thirties.  We dated for 4-5 months and the primary reason that I broke up with her was over her poor financial situation and the fact she couldn't manage money.  She was making ~$140K working for a large international corp located in DC and yet, was having to drive Uber on the weekends to make ends meet.  Another issue that didn't sit well with me was the fact that she was sacrificing spending time with her kids to spend time with me.  In my view, kids come first.

I completely agree with you as I'm a bit shocked over the problems I'm having and I'm quickly realizing that internet dating is basically a numbers game; you have to "play if you want to win"...  Being a strategic thinker and a long-range type of guy, I'm much more suited for long-term relationships.  For example, I was married for 16 years and prior to being married, I was in a relationship for ~9 years. 
 
L_S
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OP, you suggest you want a partner who values her personal life and relationships as much as her professional life, and you bemoan the fact that DC is full of career-oriented, middle-aged women.  Yet, nothing in your comments about your ex-girlfriend is consistent with those values.

You say the ex has a problem managing money because she earns 140K and still needs a second job to make ends meet.  You also say the problem is that she spends too much on basic necessities for herself and her three kids and she makes bad decisions such as buying grocery items at CVS instead of a grocery store.

Are you kidding?  She's in her late 30s with three kids and a professional job, and you think less of her because she buys grocery items at CVS rather than a grocery store?  Did it ever occur to you that she can probably do that on her lunch break and then get an extra hour with her kids or at her career job by skipping the after-work trip to the grocery store to pick up a gallon of milk every other day?  I mean, if she was taking fancy vacations with her girlfriends and had a closet full of $500 shoes, I might agree with you that she has a financial management problem.  But when you say that she spends too much on basic needs, I have to wonder where you live and whether your twenty kid-free years of marriage left you out of touch with how expensive it is to raise three kids in DC while holding a professional full-time job and trying to squeeze in time for adult relationships here and there.  Paying a convenience surcharge to meet basic needs is a necessity.

Also, are you at all familiar with housing costs in DC proper?  As a single parent working in downtown DC, she probably needs to live in DC proper or a very close-in suburb, simply because she needs to be able to get to the kids' school quickly for events and emergencies, get home from work in time for dinner and homework, etc.

Honestly, if you liked her and the primary reason you dumped her was really a combination of her financial situation and the fact that she took time away from kids and work to have a relationship with you, you need to recognize that you are contributing to the DC mentality where women feel overextended and exhausted by the need to balance high-paying careers, kids, and personal relationships.  Be honest with yourself.  Despite your comments about being Southern and old-school, you are terrified by the prospect of someday being expected to share what you and your late wife built with a life partner who is less financially well-off than you are, aren't you?  That's not a moral failing, just don't kid yourself into thinking you are old-school and chivalrous and non-judgmental. 
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PP again.  Just reread this and am concerned that it sounds unnecessarily harsh.  My point is simply that, rather than complaining that you keep meeting the "wrong kind of women" online, maybe you need to spend some time figuring out just what the right kind of woman for you would be, and whether your expectations are reasonable.  [/quote]

Please do not apologize as I do not think your response is too harsh, not at all.  I elected to bear my soul looking for advice and truth be told, I expected harsher.  Let me share for you and others that I have printed the entire thread and have even highlighted various suggestions and comments so that I can read them again (and again).  You folks have taken time away from your  Spouses/SO/Families to assist with my problem; that said, the very least I can do is devote my time assessing these comments against my situation.

I completely agree with you that I contributed to the "DC Mentality" by dropping her.  BL - her financial situation was far more bleak than I shared in my post and further, was more than I was willing to take on.  To give you some idea - I was at her house for dinner one night and after we finished eating, I began loading dishes into the dishwasher.  She had me stop as it was broken and had been for two years.  Her birthday was in a few weeks, so I offered to have a new one installed as a birthday present.  She protested for a bit and then finally relented.  I'm sure you'd agree that this is a bit much for woman that I had only known for a short while; however, I couldn't imagine raising three kids without a dishwasher.  A similar situation occurred when she needed tires for her car.  You get the picture...  While I consider myself a generous person, there are limits to my generosity.  For the sake of argument, let's put the "shoe on the other foot", how long do you think a woman would hang around if I had similar financial problems?

Also, let me digress on your comment about losing what I/we have amassed collectively.  After losing my wife, I elected to go into counseling for 6-7 months and I soon realized what's truly important and what isn't.  While I have a nice house in a nice neighborhood, have a nice car, wear nice clothes, and have a nice career; it matters not without someone to share it with.  So, to answer your question; Y-E-S, I would risk it all to fall in love again as being in love is truly a wonderful feeling.  Since you posted anonymously, I'll ask you - have you ever been in love?             
    
L_S

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