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[quote=Anonymous]Ugh, poor woman, and poor OP.

Do you love this woman?  You said this is a recent thing.  If you love her and want to see if this can work, I would sit down with her and tell her that this concerns you and that, of course there are physically beautiful people out there (both male and female), but that you are in a relationship with her, and that means you value being exclusive.  But that you cannot guarantee that there will not be other people who are more physically attractive, though you find her whole package to be something you find extremely compelling.  Tell her you do not believe in cheating, and value fidelity.  And then tell her that you are concerned that she is so focused on this and ask her if she has sought therapy to deal with the pain of her divorce, and encourage her to find help.

But don’t feel like you have to put up with this forever.  My husband had an affair.  It was crippling and horrible, and my trust basically evaporated.  I had counseling and it really helped me, and made me able to move on with other people (with my husband, the jury’s still out).  Even I, however, don’t think that her trauma means that you need to live with this forever.  If she’s not willing to do some real work on this, I would not stay.

Also, completely unrelated, but men often cheat with women who are LESS attractive than their wives.  So I’m not sure why she’s so hung up on whether she’s prettier.
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