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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD has several "pointy" friends. Kids who found their passion young, and have focused on it with laser intensity. My DD likes doing a lot of different things and does not have just one passion. When she compares her music skills to her friend who just does piano, she finds herself lacking. When she compares her soccer skills to her friend who has been playing club for years, she finds herself lacking. When she compares her academic skills to her friend who reads voraciously and studies ahead because it's interesting, she finds herself lacking. I try to point out that her academic friend can't play soccer to save her life, her music friend practices piano when she should be studying, etc. I suggest that if my DD really wants her music or soccer or academics to improve, she might have to give a little on her other interests and start focusing on the one that she wants to do better in. She tells me she wants to do better in them all.

It also makes her want to quit. She used to play club soccer, but couldn't give it the time it needed so she dropped it before it dropped her. Now she feels like she's bad at soccer, so why bother playing rec. Her friend who lives for the piano gets asked to play for various things, and my DD doesn't, which makes her feel like her efforts are pointless and she should quit. So far we've jostled her along, because she enjoys the activities, but it's hard because in everything she does, she can point to someone in her immediate environment who is better at it than she is. For a kid who wants to be on top, that's hard. [/quote]

As someone who is a classically trained pianist and was pushed by my parents to do it throughout my childhood, including recitals and competitions, I can tell you that it is quite miserable until you get a good mastery of it. The struggle is real and it is hard and many people are not cut out for it. But there is a silver lining if she can break through and get to the other side. As an adult, it has provided me with a lifetime of joy and pleasure and it has helped me immensely in getting my children up and running on piano as well, which warms my heart. It is usually not fun to be "middling" at something - you have to just keep pushing through until you get to the other side. Tell her to keep going - even when the going gets tough - she will get there eventually. The amount of time it takes is NOT important and she should absolutely stop comparing herself to others. As they say, comparison is the thief of joy. Good luck![/quote]

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