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[quote=Anonymous]I can relate, OP.  My ILs were nice people and gave my DH a good home (he is NOT adoptive).  DH loved them very much.  I had nothing in common with them and while I was always nice, polite and did my family duty, it always bothered them that we didn't have the relationship they always envisioned having with their DIL.  My DH and I nearly called off the wedding because of it (we were in relationship counseling over it).  There were no hard words, no bad behavior, I just didn't have the emotional closeness with them that they wanted.  In hindsight (they're both dead now), I don't think the challenge was because we had little common ground, I think I was repelled by what I sensed was their 'clinginess'.  They 'needed' a close emotional relationship and I didn't.  It wasn't enough that I was an excellent partner for their DS, that I was nice and did what I was supposed to.  They wanted more.  It got better after we had kids.  They could shower the kids with all the love they wanted and they were excellent grandparents.

I think you should sit down with your DH and agree on what his parents deserve - and they do deserve to have a relationship with their grandkids if nothing else.  Now, if there were abuse issues, my response would be different.  I understand how this places a burden on you, you really do have to suck it up.  But, the onus doesn't have to be all on you.  Your DH needs to pull his weight on this.[/quote]

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